Life Coaching for Transforming Perfectionism into Excellence

Standards can encourage people to create good work, learn new skills and strive for worthwhile objectives. But when perfectionism sets in, with an inflexible attitude, perfectionist errors are still errors, and self-worth is tied to perfectionist performance. Increased perfectionist thinking may lead to procrastination, over-checking, indecision and ongoing dissatisfaction rather than improvement. Life Coaching can help people consider the distinction between ‘excellence’ and ‘perfection ‘. Coaching does not ask clients to reduce their important standards.

Rather, it can inspire them to set goals that are still difficult while also giving them space to experiment, learn, try, and make progress. Research shows that perfectionism is multi-dimensional. Perfectionistic striving and perfectionistic concerns do not always have the same effects. In particular, some issues correlated with more problematic patterns involve mistakes and negative evaluation, whereas high standards do not necessarily indicate dysfunction.

Recognising When High Standards Become Counterproductive

When standards make action more difficult than it is to support effective action, then high standards become problematic. Individuals may revise work multiple times after finishing it, submit a project late, avoid tasks they do not know or have not experienced before, or spend too long on minor details that have little bearing on the overall project. In the context of Life Coaching, the client can look at where these behaviours occur and the beliefs that may be contributing to them. A client may find that they do not start projects because they fear the results will not be what they want. Someone else can finish a job well but only focus on the little things. Previous studies that investigated perfectionism and work difficulties indicated that perfectionistic concerns can relate to procrastination, and the link between perfectionistic striving and procrastination can be more complex. This separation lets coaching conversations shift away from the assumption that all high standards are negative.

Clients might be asked to consider what benefit, if any, a specific standard would bring to the quality of the work, and whether it would involve more time and/or pressure. They can also discuss their understanding of what a mistake is. When mistakes are seen as evidence of failure rather than a learning experience, even relatively mundane tasks can become emotionally charged. If these patterns are identified, then there is a chance for change. Rather than giving up on ambition, clients can hold on to standards that support quality and challenge expectations that lead to unnecessary checking, avoidance, and/or self-criticism.

Replacing Perfection with Clear Standards for Excellence

There isn’t often a clear point at which a piece of work becomes absolutely perfect; perfection is hard to define. Productive excellence is more actionable because it is linked to tangible criteria, priorities, and outcomes. Clients can use Life Coaching to create their own clear definitions of what successful completion is. For instance, a person creating a presentation may define success as expressing three key ideas clearly, using current and accurate information, and presenting within the allotted time. If the person doesn’t meet these criteria, they can make minor changes to the wording, formatting, or visuals long after any real benefit. The client can also tell the difference between tasks that need exceptional accuracy and those that only need to be done well and on time.

Not all emails, reports, presentations or decisions are created equal. Limiting the time can help with this process. A client may allot time to plan, draft, review, and complete a task, and you should not spend more than that. Another helpful approach is to separate the first attempt from the final version. It is easy to get disheartened when aiming for a complete first draft, but an incomplete first draft leaves room for revision. Life Coaching can also help clients evaluate outcomes based on facts and figures rather than sentiment. If you’re not happy with it, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you haven’t done a good job! By defining excellence more clearly, clients can have meaningful standards and avoid all the revisions and questioning that often accompany perfectionism.

Using Mistakes as Information for Continued Growth

The fear of making mistakes can keep people from taking advantage of opportunities that could be used for learning and growth. When people see all mistakes as failures, new situations can feel needlessly threatening. A better way is to regard errors as data. Clients can be given an opportunity in Life Coaching to ‘reflect’ on what has happened, why it has happened, and what they can change for the next time. This shifts the focus from assessing the person to assessing the process. For instance, if a deadline was missed, there may be an opportunity to consider whether the initial timeline was realistic, whether too much time was spent on small changes, or whether priorities were unclear. Pupils may also need to learn to identify errors that need correcting from those errors that are of little practical significance. This distinction is especially helpful because perfectionism can make it seem more important to focus on minor flaws than on the bigger picture.

Life Coaching can also help clients identify achievements they might not otherwise notice. A person who is only concerned with the product may not recognise better job skills, increased efficiency, improved communication or increased self-confidence that may have developed along the way. Improvement areas as well as evidence of growth may be reflected. Productive excellence isn’t about avoiding errors. It means doing something that doesn’t go exactly as planned but doing it constructively. As clients feel more comfortable with errors and self-criticism, they may be more willing to experiment, make decisions, and do difficult work without being sure the results will be flawless.

Creating Sustainable Performance Without Constant Self-Criticism

When people continuously assess themselves against unattainable standards and goals, perfectionism can become tiring. But even if a performance is good, it can be disappointing if it’s quickly followed by thoughts about what went wrong. Life Coaching can help clients shift the balance toward a more balanced self-evaluation. One way is to distinguish between personal and performance identity. If the results are not what they hoped, it means a strategy needs adjustment, but it does not mean the person is incapable or worthless. Customers can also review the language they use. Repeated mistakes or always being “right” can be reviewed to assess their validity and adjusted with more specific evaluations.  Constructive accountability is still a concern. Avoiding responsibility is not the same as avoiding perfectionism, but it is not a prerequisite either.

Repeatedly accepting poor work is not a sign of perfectionism. Instead, clients can learn to judge themselves based on realistic expectations and observable results. This balance can be maintained by regular review. Clients may want to reflect on what went well, what they would like to do differently, what felt out of their control, and what they will do differently next time. Coaches are also responsible for maintaining professional boundaries. The IF Code of Ethics calls on coaches to practice within their area of competence and to recognise when another professional or resource may be more suitable. If perfectionism is also accompanied by high levels of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive symptoms and/or major difficulties in daily functioning, mental health assistance could be necessary.

Conclusion

Ambition, attention to detail, and high standards are all linked to perfectionism and can make it seem like it’s productive. If standards are inflexible and errors are not tolerated, these same factors can lead to procrastination, decision-making difficulties, too much checking, and ongoing dissatisfaction. Life Coaching can use the client’s drive to excel to help them change these patterns without giving up that desire. The first step is to identify and distinguish between high standards and perfectionistic concerns. Clients can learn whether they will see real improvement in their results or pile on more pressure and delay further.

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